Are you Morpheus or Neo?

I watched the original “Matrix” movie over the weekend. At least 10 years have passed since I saw it last. Boy, there’s a lot to like about that movie, an updated, action-packed Plato’s Cave, allegorically lucid and fun at the same time. One early scene that especially resonates is when the agile Morpheus moves effortlessly through throngs of people on a crowded city sidewalk while Neo bumbles along behind him, bumping into everyone he passes, apologizing with every move.

Flow and no-flow. Morpheus is the embodiment of flow. Graceful. Aware. Focused. Fluid. Doing the needful and untroubled by the press of events around him. He even has his hands “tied behind his back.” Neo is no-flow. Confused. Fearful.  Trying to maintain control in a world that feels chaotic and unknowable. Manic and slow at the same time.

I am especially interested in this flow/no-flow topic as it relates to relationships and conversations. Am I selling, controlling, bumping into ego and fear? Or am I open and fearlessly allowing connection with grace and ease?

The best way I know how to flow effortlessly with another is to drop formalities and launch into an exploration of direct experience. Ask questions with openness: what has surprised you about the work we are doing together?  What has disappointed you? What has helped you feel most connected and effective?

I find when I drop the need to monitor or sell, the flow state just naturally emerges.  Plus, it’s just so much more relaxing and interesting for everyone.

Which are you right now? Flow or no-flow? Morpheus or Neo?